Anything for a Friend
by rocknrollalien
Summary: Adrien would love it if fangirls left him alone for once in his life, but he knows that this will likely be a problem for as long as he's single. Nino comes up with a potentially genius plan: just pretend to date a kindhearted classmate, and the problem will go away! Aka Adrien is oblivious and Marinette is too nice for her own good Cross posted from AO3!
1. Chapter 1

"Did you notice that Chloe went through and liked every single photo on your official instagram?" Nino asked, scrolling through his phone with an expression of distaste.

"Is that look for my pictures or for Chloe?" Adrien asked, fiddling with his pencil rather than doing any homework. Nino was possibly the worst influence when it came to homework completion, but having him over for homework was possibly the only way Adrien's father would allow him through the doors these days. "And yeah, she checks the page every day. Sometimes she comments her phone number."

"Well, she's got points for being cheeky I guess," Nino replied. He set his phone down and looked curiously at Adrien, who raised his eyebrows in response. "What's it like, getting so much attention from girls?" he asked.

"Obnoxious," Adrien responded honestly. "I feel like if I ever take off my shirt I'll be responsible for six fainting episodes and a bloody nose."

"I don't know if that's too much anime or a too huge ego talking, my friend, but you're probably right. Which just makes poor old me upset," Nino said, laughing.

Adrien shrugged. "There's nothing to do about it. As long as I'm single, they think I'm free game."

He turned away from Nino's thoughtful expression, honestly dubious about whatever idea he was ruminating upon, and took the time to do a few math problems. Part of him worried that Nino would stay true to his previous ideas and attempt to ask Adrien's father for some help with the problem. He could only imagine what would happen if Nino succeeded that persuasion attempt-would his father conscript another of the teen models to pose as his girlfriend? He snorted as his own word choice. Model? Pose? He was a genius.

"My friend, you may not acknowledge it, but you are in the presence of a genius," Nino announced, striking the temporary fear that Nino might be able to read Adrien's thoughts into his heart. "Your problems only persists as long as you're single, no?"

Adrien narrowed his eyes. "True," he said.

"Then you need to get a girlfriend!" Nino said, hands proudly on hips.

"I don't like any girls though," Adrien replied. He hated to shoot down Nino's ideas but he couldn't picture any girl other than one spandex clad super heroine on his arm. The idea of a Chloe or a Rose so much as holding his hand made him uncomfortable.

"A boyfriend?" Nino offered.

"More tempting, but my father would likely kill me. Anyway I kinda do have a thing for one girl, but she doesn't go to our school and she definitely doesn't like me back," he said, laughing.

Nino pondered, and his thinking face was so dramatic that Adrien couldn't help but laugh.

"What about a fake girlfriend?" Nino suggested at last, looking less convinced of this idea than he had the previous two, but still hopeful. "Someone who knows they're not really in a relationship with you, but is willing to pretend so that you stop getting harassed."

"I…" Adrien began to shoot the idea down, but he paused, thinking about it a bit more. "We'd have to find someone who is really selfless to want to do that."

* * *

Marinette was hardly listening to the lecture. She knew it had something to do with physics-or at least that was a very likely topic of the lecture, given that she was sitting in Physics class. But when would physics help her in day to day life? True, she had a fairly good grasp of how fast something was going to fall, how much the wind affected things, and whether or not she had enough momentum to make jaw dropping leaps-but that wasn't really physics, right? More like instinct.

In any case, she'd been struck by inspiration after dealing with the latest akuma victim, and she needed to get all these designs to paper before she forgot them. She didn't know who was turning all of these poor people into villains, but whoever it was really had a sense of colour coordination.

"-ette. Marinette!"

Slowly, with much shame, she came to realize that someone was saying her name.

"I'm listening, I swear!" she said, her eyes snapping to the front of the room and her face turning pink.

"Well that's good to hear," replied Ms. Mendeleiev with a curious smile. She had been writing on the board just a moment ago, and it became clear with Chloe and Sabrina's laughter that she had not been the one attempting to get Marinette's attention.

Marinette covered her face with her hands until the moment passed, and the rest of the class returned their focus to physics problems.

"Psst!" came a voice from in front of her, and she uncovered a single eye to spy who was trying to talk to her.

Adrien was looking up at her, smiling apologetically, but undeniably trying to get her attention. Reflexively, she checked behind her in case someone more interesting was directly behind her and trying to having some sort of private conversation with Adrien. Of course, only Ivan was behind her, and he was snoring peacefully through the lecture. Which lead to the obvious conclusion that, yes, Adrien was trying to talk to her for some reason.

This was either going to be really good, or quite terrible.

"Y-yes?" she replied in a whisper, eyes scanning the front of the class nervously for reprimand.

He shook his head, still smiling, and gestured toward Ms. Mendeleiev, who was still occupied with the chalkboard. Instead of speaking, he turned and retrieved a scrap of paper from his bag, hastily marked something down, and passed it to her. As he slid it across her desk, he shot a friendly wink in her direction, and returned to classwork.

The entire exchange, if it could be called that, took about 5 seconds, and Marinette felt as though she were going to have a heart attack. Her heart hammered in her chest so loudly that she half feared it might be audible to the entire class. Mouth dry, hands shaking, she took the note and opened it.

Can we talk after class? I have something a bit awkward to ask you! read the note. It was punctuated with a hastily drawn smiley face, as though to reassure her.

Marinette tugged on Alya's sleeve and slid the note toward her, unable to speak.

Now, Marinette couldn't focus on the lecture or her designs. Her mind was a lovingly rendered portrait of Adrien, and nothing else. It was as though all thoughts had been scrubbed from her brain. When class was five minutes from ending, however, the portrait faded in favor of every single insecurity she had.

True, it seemed like this was a setup for Adrien to confess feelings for her-but when did things ever work out like that in real life? More likely he was going to ask if she could move seats in class so that someone cooler could sit close to him. Or he was going to ask if she could do his homework since he'd be so busy with photoshoots this upcoming week. Maybe he'd ask if Alya was single and he could date her. Maybe he wanted to know if he'd look cute with Chloe. Maybe, maybe, maybe-there were too many possibilities and there was exactly one outcome that would come out favorably for Marinette.

She wondered if it were ethical to try to use Lucky Charm to increase her chances of success.

The bell rang indicating that class was over, and she nearly jumped out of her seat in shock. She had gone from being delighted to miserable in less than five minutes, and she knew that no matter what Adrien asked of her, it would be a rollercoaster of emotions from here on out. Alya patted her back encouragingly and gave her two hopeful thumbs up.

Marinette smiled back at her friend, glad to have such a stalwart supporter, and knew that if Adrien asked if he should date Alya, she would absolutely say yes. The two best people she knew outside of costume should definitely be together, if neither of them could be with her.

She began to pack up, waiting for Adrien to call for her to ask whatever disastrous question that he thought she might be able to answer.

He beckoned her into the hallway, and with much dread, she shrugged on her backpack and followed him. Nino and Alya stayed in the class behind them, politely giving their friends some space to talk.

Marinette stood stiff as a board, heels clicked together, as though she were a soldier standing at attention. Her fingernails nearly punctured the straps of her backpack as she gripped them in anxiety, and she closed her eyes in anticipation.

"Relax, Marinette," Adrien said, putting a friendly hand on her shoulder.

Somehow, she stiffened even more. "You had a question for me?" she asked, her voice tremulous.

"Sorry for this whole cloak and daggers routine, I just didn't want to get yelled at by Ms. Mendeleiev, and I'm sure you didn't want any more attention in class. Sorry, by the way, for that," he began, rubbing his hand along the back of his neck.

"Oh! It's okay, I promise!" she said, waving her hands nervously. "It's my fault I wasn't paying attention in class!"

"You're so nice, Marinette," Adrien said, smiling comfortably at her. She could feel her face getting hotter, but was powerless to stop the pink blush from spreading across her cheeks. "Which is why I want to ask you a pretty big favor."

"G-go on," she said, daring to get her hopes up once more.

* * *

She looked up at him, eyes encouraging and hopeful, and Adrien just kept smiling. Perhaps he was on the right path with this. If anyone would be willing to sacrifice their time and possibly reputation to help someone else, it would be Marinette. She was always getting put into situations which couldn't be fun for such a shy girl, but she always managed to pull through and perform her best for the sake of the group. There wasn't a selfish bone in the girl's body.

"Well, you know how Chloe is always bugging me? Nino and I thought of a way to get her to cut that out, and maybe get all the girls who like me off my back," he began, and he watched her eyes widen in confusion. He'd best get this over with, so she could stop guessing at what he wanted. "If I had a girlfriend, they'd leave me alone. So uh-"

All the blush that had been filling her cheeks seemed to drain from her face at once. Was it shock? Was it anger? He suddenly began to regret asking her-it really was too much!

"Y-you want me to be your girlfriend?" she asked, her voice scarcely above a whisper.

"Well, sortof?" he said, grimacing with discomfort. She clearly wasn't amenable to the idea of being his girlfriend, but he'd gone this far, and he had to keep going. "It would be an arrangement. We'd pretend to be dating so that people would leave me alone," he explained. "I know it's a lot to ask from you, but if you wanted me to do something for you in exchange I totally would!"

She gulped. She blinked once, twice, hard. She shook her head.

"I'm sorry I-" he began, hoping he could backpedal away from this and pretend it had never happened.

"I'll do it!" she said, a smile stretching her face. "If it helps you, I'd love to. You don't need to do anything for me."

He smiled and let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you so much," he said, putting both of his hands on her shoulders. He could feel her tense up, and then relax under his hands. She was so uncomfortable with him, he couldn't fathom why she'd agreed to help, but he was glad. "I appreciate this so much, Marinette. You're a real friend."

With that, he began to walk back into class to collect Nino.

"Wait!" she said, reaching out for him. When he turned, she blushed bright pink again, and stammered for a moment before she managed, "If we're going to do this, we'll need to exchange phone numbers."


	2. Chapter 2

"I have to admit, it's not what I expected after reading that note," Alya said, looking at the note once more.

Marinette slouched in her desk chair and heaved a dramatic sigh. "Well, it's not the worst that could have happened, you know? It's...close to what I wanted, anyway.

Alya stepped toward Marinette and pulled her out of her seat into a hug. "Don't worry, it'll work out for the best!" she said, holding her best friend at arm's length. "This way he'll get to know you, I mean really know you, and he'll fall for you anyway!"

Marinette smiled. "Maybe you're right," she said, and it felt like a lie.

Alya looked at her, full of sympathy, but her attention was jerked away by the sound of screaming outside Marinette's window. Alya leapt over to the window and opened it wide, astonished to see an akuma victim reminiscent of a moth flapping by the window, cackling hysterically as she pointed her camera at people. Each click of the camera and a person disappeared, somehow getting sucked up into the lens.

"I need to go!" Alya said, grabbing her cell phone and bag. "Ladybug's gonna be out there any second now! You coming?"

Marinette waved her hands feebly. "Go on. You know how much I hate violence!"

As soon as Alya was out the door, Tikki flew out of Marinette's purse, and the partners in justice nodded at one another. It was time to transform.

Moments later, Ladybug was on the rooftop, chasing down the latest victim of catastrophe in Paris. The moth girl was small with dark skin and curly blonde hair. Her colour scheme reminded Ladybug of mints or the moon, but she didn't seem familiar other than that. At least Chloe hadn't likely caused this akuma, Ladybug reflected. She really knew how to take advantage of small blessings.

She leapt from rooftop to rooftop, chasing after Flashdance as fast as she could without the aid of flight. The moth woman whirled and laughed, focusing her lens on the superherione. Ladybug yelped, and nearly had her picture taken, when a blur of black and blonde pushed her out of the way.

Flashdance growled in frustration, and flew away. "You won't be getting in the way of me taking back what was taken from me!" she said as she dwindled into the distance.

"Miss me, My Lady?" Chat Noir said, helping Ladybug up.

"You're lucky you didn't get snapped!" she replied, glaring in the moth's general direction.

"If any woman snaps me up, it's going to be you," he replied, grinning capriciously.

She rolled her eyes. "You're going to have to stop saying things like that, Chat," she told him. "She's taking photos of people, and wants to take something back...Wasn't there a popular photography exhibition on the other side of town? Maybe she's the photographer from that."

"It's as good a place as any to start," he replied with a shrug, and they were off.

* * *

"The Galerie de Agathe," Chat Noir said as they approached the unassuming building they had traced the photographer to. "It doesn't look like much but she must purretty talented to get her work showcased here."

Ladybug laughed despite herself at his pun-which wasn't even one of his better ones-but remained focused on the mission at hand. "Are you familiar with it?" she asked.

He shrugged. His father liked to believe himself a patron of the arts, despite never actually showing up to these kinds of galleries. He sent Nathalie and Adrien in his stead, and so Adrien got a pretty healthy dose of contemporary art in Paris. He obviously couldn't explain all of that to Ladybug, so he settled for, "I know it well enough."

Before the conversation could be finished, Flashdance herself showed up, dragging a 20something year old hipster by his scarf.

"That doesn't look good," Ladybug said dubiously. "We should get in there!"

"I love it when you read my mind," Chat Noir agreed, and they leapt down from their perch to deal with the akuma victim and the akuma victim's victim.

The fight from there on was pretty straight forward. Flashdance had trapped the young man in the gallery, forcing him to look at photos that he apparently did not take, but had stolen from her online gallery. The heroes couldn't exactly condone the actions, but an akuma victim was an akuma victim nonetheless. After destroying part of the ground Flashdance was standing upon, forcing her to flap into flight with very little warning, her camera swung out from her neck, and Ladybug used her red and black spotted scissors to slice the lanyard keeping the camera fastened to Flashdance.

With a solid stomp, the camera was broken, and the akuma was purified. Flashdance turned to a teenage girl with red glasses, simply looking baffled at what was going on. Chat and Ladybug completed their customary fist bump, and fled the scene of the crime.

"You really are something, you know," Chat said, grinning at Ladybug.

"You really have to stop saying things like that," Ladybug replied, sticking her tongue out at him.

"Why? I mean them!"

"Because…" she paused, and she looked away, conflict in her face. "I have a boyfriend."

It was like a punch in the stomach for Chat Noir. On one hand, he was devastated, but on the other he couldn't quite figure out why he was so saddened by this news. Someone as bold and as beautiful as Ladybug had to have a hundred boys chasing her, and surely it was not too much to imagine that one of them had wormed their way into her heart. Still, now he could imagine what Copycat had felt all that time ago.

His shock only showed on his face for a moment, before he smiled. Perhaps (purrhaps) he thought, he could make use of his situation with Marinette in his alter ego lifestyle as well.

"How do you know I don't have a girlfriend?" he asked.

From the look on her face, the idea hadn't occurred to her. Hurtful, but fair, he supposed. After all, he hadn't imagined that she might ever have a boyfriend.

"You're such a terrible flirt!" she admonished, swatting him lightly. "If you have a girlfriend then you can't go around talking like this!"

He laughed. "Well, maybe I don't have a girlfriend. Anyway, why do you need a boyfriend when you've already got a catfriend," he said, leaning close.

She pushed him away, as she always did. "I don't want to end up a crazy cat lady, now do I?" At the near simultaneous beeps of their Miraculous, she waved him farewell, and trotted off to detransform somewhere he couldn't see her.

In his room, later, he sat back at his desk and sighed. He'd pulled up information on Alya's Ladyblog, which reported Ladybug and Chat Noir acting friendly throughout their take down of Flashdance. Alya theorized that Chat and Ladybug knew each other outside of their identities, to support their camaraderie in combat.

"If only," Adrien sighed.

"This is why I don't bother with girls," Plagg said around a mouthful of cheese. "Dairy products don't leave me for better cats."

"He really must be something great," Adrien mused. "After all our time together, all I've gotten is a kiss when I was unconsciously trying to kill her."

"Maybe he's richer than you," Plagg said, and promptly went into a food-coma.

Adrien shook his head, and sat forward to resume looking through Alya's blog when his phone rumbled. A text from Marinette, it seemed. He smiled and opened it, glad to remember that despite the love of his life seeing someone else, at least he had good friends to keep him company.

 **[Text From: Marinette Dupain-Cheng 5:19 PM]**  
 **Hey Adrien! I have some questions about this arrangement of ours. I hope it's not too much trouble! Thank you! I hope you're doing well!**

She texted like a grandmother, he noted. It was, in it's own way, pretty adorable. And it was only natural that she be curious about how this ought to work-he himself did not quite know, yet.

 **[Text To: Marinette Dupain-Cheng 5:20 PM]**  
 **I think we can figure it out as we go, so don't worry too much. We just have to pretend to be a bit more physically close in a bf-gf way I think. Are you ok with that? like i might have to touch your shoulders or smthn**

He took his phone with him and laid down on his bed. He tried to picture going into class the next day with Marinette, arm around her shoulders. He went so far as to imagine kissing her cheek before he became too embarrassed for his mental story to continue. He covered his face with his hands. How was he going to do this without feeling like he was going to make Marinette massively uncomfortable, not to mention feeling like he was two-timing Ladybug.

But how could he be two-timing someone who wasn't interested in him? She had a boyfriend now and...ah, but he was still faithful to her. He couldn't believe himself.

 **[Text From: Marinette Dupain-Cheng 5:28 PM]**  
 **Whatever it takes to help you!**

Adrien looked at his phone curiously. She'd taken quite a while for such a short text. He supposed she was busy designing fashion or hanging out with Alya or whatever it was she did. With a jerk, he realized that he would have to know what she did. If someone smart like Chloe asked why he'd decided to start dating Marinette, he would need to have a reason.

 **[Text To: Marinette Dupain-Cheng 5:30 PM]**  
 **Hey do u thinkg we should come up with a reason why we're dating? Like if someone asks. i'd say something like 'she's really pretty and kind and good at designs!' which sounds believable because all of that is true ;) but whatre u gonna say so it doesnt sound like i blackmailed you**

* * *

 **[Text From: Adrie 5:30 PM]**  
 **Hey do u thinkg we should come up with a reason why we're dating? Like if someone asks. i'd say something like 'she's really pretty and kind and good at designs!' which sounds believable because all of that is true ;) but whatre u gonna say so it doesnt sound like i blackmailed you**

Her heart pounded in her chest. First of all, she couldn't believe that she was just casually texting Adrien. Every fibre of her being was telling her that this was too good to be true. She'd hit her head and was in the hospital, dreaming about Adrien feeling close enough to her to send her texts full of typos and winky faces. But reality was there-this was all a facade. An elaborate fake to keep him distant from other girls.

Still, she couldn't help but be more than thrilled when he described her as 'pretty, kind, and great at designs.' It sounded so genuine...but perhaps he was just a better actor than even she'd given him credit for. With his acting skills and her genuine feelings, this ruse would be easy to pull off.

Marinette sighed and thought about how to respond to this text. Should she really just list out the things that were wonderful about Adrien? She couldn't-he'd catch on to her real motive for pretending to date him, and would never trust her again. She clutched her phone to her chest and wished Alya were there to help compose this text-but Alya was busy with her Ladyblog. With a small smile, she wondered how Alya would react upon finding out that she was devoting all of her freetime blogging about her best friend.

She had read Alya's latest update as it came out, always trying to figure out what conclusion Alya had leapt to this week so that she could continue steering her assumptions away from the truth. This time, Alya thought that Ladybug knew Chat Noir in day to day life. Marinette supposed it was possible, but she simply didn't know anyone that obnoxiously flirtatious.

She'd felt a little guilty, telling Chat that she had a boyfriend. It was technically true, but it felt so much like a lie-and the look upon Chat's face was unbearably pitiful. He'd recovered quickly, but she still couldn't help but feel like her words had taken one of his nine lives.

 _"How do you know I don't have a girlfriend?"_ he'd said, grinning wide.

Marinette wondered now if he did have a girlfriend. Was there some lucky lady who had no idea that he was spending his time by Ladybug's side? Maybe he really was just a flirt and all his kind words were typical for him. Maybe it was just that that had his girlfriend love him so much.

For a reason Marinette couldn't quite put her finger on, the idea disturbed her.

"Are you going to answer?" Tikki said, bringing Marinette's attention back to her phone.

"What do I even say, Tikki? He's going to think I'm stupid, or boring, or crazy or...worse, he'll think I'm in love with him," she complained, staring at the text message once more.

"Is that really so bad? He's clearly fond of you!" Tikki insisted.

Marinette sighed. "He told me I'm a good friend today," she admitted. "He only sees me as a friend."

"Friendship is a better basis for a relationship than being enemies, don't you think?" Tikki said, smiling beatifically. "Just say something nice! He'll appreciate it!"

Marinette nodded with renewed determination.

 **[Text To: Adrie 5:45 PM]**  
 **Easy, I'll talk about how much I admire your modeling. Is that convincing enough or too bland? :-)**

Hands shaking, she put her phone down in her lap.

"What do you think, Tikki?" she asked.

"I would have talked about his beautiful green eyes," Tikki said, giggling.

 **[Text From: Adrie 5:46 PM]**  
 **Nothing about how i'm a "cool guy" or anything, huh? oh well :p i'll see you tomorrpw at school!**

Marinette clutched her phone to her chest, blushing bright pink despite the fact that nobody was there to see it, and fell back onto her bed. It was simply too much for her to handle.


	3. Chapter 3

By the time Adrien got to class, Marinette was already there. She was speaking animatedly to Alya, gesticulating as if there were no tomorrow. He smiled to himself-it would be easy to pretend they were dating as long as she kept being adorable, right? He dropped his bag off at his seat and walked up the extra step to where she was sitting, just in time to hear the end of her conversation with Alya.

"-it was like something out of a dream! I wish I had ideas as bold as that. I keep coming up with the same things, shirts, dresses...every day wear. But nothing that would go on a runway and make people gasp," Marinette was saying, finishing with a heavy sigh.

Hesitating slightly, he came up behind her and threw his arms over her shoulders, placing his head next to hers. He couldn't see her face well, and for that he was glad, because he could only imagine the reactive grimace. True to form, she tensed, realized who it was, and tensed even worse before she remembered that they had agreed to this sort of behaviour.

"Hey...Princess," he said, after casting about for a bit for an appropriate pet name. "I hate to eavesdrop, but I think your designs are awe inspiring."

"Th-th-thank you, Adrien," she said, slowly disengaging with him to turn and face him.

He stepped back, hands proudly on hips, before he realized that the stance really only worked for him as Chat Noir. He crossed his arms instead, trying not to look completely nervous. He'd never had a girlfriend before, and he wasn't sure how to behave with a fake one.

"You're welcome," he said after a pause that was too long to be entirely natural, winking at her. "How did you sleep last night?"

Marinette looked nervously behind him, very likely checking for Chloe's attention. Adrien wanted to peek as well, to see if the ruse was working, but to do that would require a full 180 degree turn, and would look completely unnatural.

"I slept grood! I mean good! Great!" Marinette bumbled out, and her nervousness worked to actually soothe his nerves.

He leaned forward, and put a hand on her shoulder encouragingly, as he had done so many times in the past. "Relax," he said quietly. And then, louder, "People are gonna find out about us sooner or later anyway."

"Do you mean to tell me that you two are...what, dating?" came a familiar voice from behind him. He closed his eyes in satisfaction. Well, at least she'd noticed.

Adrien turned, effectively forming a shield between Chloe and Marinette. Chloe stood with arms crossed, a disgusted expression on her face, with Sabrina behind her, echoing the stance.

"Yeah, we are," he said calmly, and extended a hand toward Marinette without looking at her. She took the hand, and he felt his pulse increase. _You're a real smooth operator, huh?_ he thought. _Getting nervous from holding hands with a girl. Very slick_. "Why do you ask, Chloe?"

"This is a joke, right?" Chloe asked, but her confidence was wearing thin as her blue eyes locked on Marinette and Adrien's intertwined fingers. "Some elaborate scheme to trick me, specifically. How long has this been going on?"

Adrien smiled, hoping he wouldn't give away exactly how accurate Chloe's assumption had been.

"We've been dating for a while now," Marinette interrupted. Both of them turned to look at her, and her face looked just as surprised as Chloe's. "W-we just wanted to keep it a secret because we knew his fans would be so upset…?" Her statement ended more as a question, and she looked to Adrien for approval.

"But I couldn't stand the secrecy," he corroborated. "She thought it would be better for my career if nobody knew about us...but I care about her too much to keep her in the shadows."

His hand tightened on hers, and she smiled up at him.

"I don't believe it," Chloe said, and stormed off to her seat.

"I should get to my seat too...Princess," Adrien said, winking as he detached his hand from Marinette's and moved to sit down.

As he sat, he felt that his palms were sweaty. His left hand, anyway, could be explained by holding Marinette's doubtlessly sweaty hand. But both hands were equally slick. He passed it off as nerves, having to lie directly to someone's face like that. He may have been a model and a superhero, but he was no actor. He was infinitely glad that Marinette had chipped in, her quick thinking likely having saved the day.

He felt compelled to turn and look at her, to see how she was dealing with the aftermath of their first confrontation. In a way, it was like a relationship milestone. He smiled to himself, amused at his own line of thought, but decided against turning toward her. Even if they were fictionally dating, he didn't want her to think he was _too_ interested in her and get uncomfortable.

* * *

"Should I be checking your pulse right now? Do you need to see the nurse?" Alya whispered, poking at Marinette's side.

"I'm not sure," Marinette breathed. "Am I alive right now? Did I get hit by a car on the way to school?"

"If heaven is first period French Lit then I refuse to ever die," Alya said, chuckling to herself. "That was pretty slick. Since when do you know how to lie?"

Marinette paled, her eyes widening. "I don't!" she said.

"You could have fooled me," Alya teased. "Anyway, I think you really impressed him! Good going, girl!"

"You really think so? He wasn't weirded out?" she fretted quietly.

"Maybe weirded out by how amazing you are!" Alya replied quickly, but the conversation was cut short by their teacher entering the class.

At their next break between classes, Adrien turned around and put his elbow on her desk, startling her out of a reverie created by absolute mindless daydreams. Her eyes widened and her face turned pink, as though she were still startled by his very presence. Part of her knew that she would have to get over that eventually, but part of her felt like it would go on forever.

He smiled at her, his green eyes flashing like leaves in sunlight, and her heart nearly stopped in her chest. A nervous smile tugged its way across her face in response, and she had to fight the urge to giggle senselessly-he was looking at her, with eyes only for her, with that gentle smile. Three days ago this would have been unfathomable.

"You don't mind that I call you Princess, right?" he asked, ruffling the back of his hair.

"I don't mind at all!" she blurted out, louder and quicker than she'd intended, and immediately bit her tongue. "I mean, I think it's good. Uh, it's less...you know, bland than sweetie or something so it seems more...legitimate," she said, stammering over her words.

"Hey, Marinette, why don't you have a pet name for me?" he asked, putting his hand on hers. She saw the momentary hesitation of his movement, as though he was afraid to touch her, but he made up his mind quickly, and his warm hand was on hers before she had time to pull away.

"Wh-what would you like to be called?" she asked, eyes locked on his hand.

"I suppose Prince would be too obvious," he mused. "You're awfully clever, Marinette; do you have any ideas?"

Her face flushed even darker pink than it had been just moments before. While someday she might become accustomed to his presence, she doubted that she'd ever grow used to compliments from him. It was too much for her heart to deal with all at once.

"I-I'm sure one will come to me the longer we're 'together'," she managed, just barely.

"You two are so cute together," Alya remarked, saving Marinette from whatever hell she was trapped in.

Adrien turned to look at Alya with a satisfied expression, and Marinette wondered where the satisfaction was coming from. Was he under the impression that he'd tricked Alya? She didn't think of him as having an ego, so it couldn't be from getting called cute. She could only imagine the reaction from someone with a bigger ego-Chat Noir came to mind. Saying he was cute would just fan the flames of...his entire everything. A small smile came to her face at the thought of his antics. Perhaps she'd have to try complimenting him out of the blue sometime and see what flips he'd do in reaction.

She was stirred out of this thought by Adrien standing and leaning over her desk to put his face directly next to hers. He was so close that their cheeks were almost touching, with his lips adjacent to her ear. Her blush was automatic, and she just knew he would be able to feel the heat radiating from her face.

"I have a question about our arrangement," he said, his voice so low it sounded almost like a purr. Chills ran up her spine.

"Sh-should we be whispering like this?" she breathed, honestly shocked she was able to keep it together this well. "It'll look suspicious."

"I think it'll look intimate," he responded in kind. "Does Alya know about..this?"

She went to nod, and stopped as she realized that he would have to somehow sense her movement as his eyes were presumably locked on the far wall. "I told her. I-is that alright? I won't tell anyone else!"

Adrien chuckled, his laugh hot on her ear. She felt as though she may faint. "Nino knows too, so it's only fair. I just wanted to know how much pretending I had to do around her."

He withdrew with a wink, and returned to his seat.

Marinette was still frozen in place, the colour of a strawberry (or a ladybug) as Adrien returned to casual conversation with Nino. She was a strong girl, and she was brave, when the situation called for it, but dealing with Adrien touching her was...an extreme circumstance. The only people who casually touched her quite so often were Alya and Chat Noir.

She was stirred out of her reverie by the thought of her bragging to Chat Noir about how affectionate her 'boyfriend' was to her. Would he say that his girlfriend was just as lovey dovey? Would he try to prove that he was the most affectionate 'catfriend' of all? Without a doubt, he would cause a scene, and it was just the type of thing she knew she shouldn't encourage.

Adrien seemed content to ignore her for the rest of the class, apparently satisfied that this display would be enough to keep Chloe off his back, which allowed Marinette to actually make an attempt to focus on schoolwork. Ever since she'd been accused of stealing Chloe's bracelet, she'd become accustomed to Chloe's occasional glares, so it wasn't much of a distraction.

It wasn't until lunch that Chloe made a second display of...rejection, was it? Pure rage? Hard to say. Marinette was bent down, packing her things into her bag, and when she straightened, Chloe was there. She had one hand on her hip, the other clenched into a fist at her side, and her expression was undiluted disgust.

"If you keep making that face you'll get wrinkles, Chloe," Marinette said casually, pulling her bag into her lap.

"Don't be ridiculous," Chloe spat. "I use the best moisturizer money can buy. Honestly, it's probably worth more than your pathetic little bakery." Before Marinette could respond, Chloe slammed a hand on the desk in front of her. "Now what kind of blackmail do you have on Adrien that he's pretending to date you? If you tell me what secrets you've found out about him, transfer ownership of them to me, I'll _won't_ have my father expel you."

"You can't do that!" Alya interjected, now standing as well.

Marinette would have loved to be out of this situation, but as it was, she was bookended by two tall girls who were both forces of nature unto themselves.

"Maybe I can't, but my father can!" Chloe snapped.

"It would be a gross misuse of power, and I would put it on my blog for everyone to see! Your father would never get elected again!"

Marinette stared straight ahead, trying to think happy thoughts, when Adrien stepped back in, presumably after something he'd forgotten. He took one look at the three girls, and paled. Some part of her had hoped he would interject, but Adrien was not the sort of trouble maker to butt his head into every fight he saw. In fact, usually when there was trouble, he was nowhere to be found. It was that kind of wise self preservation which had made her love him so.

After a moment's hesitation, he did approach. His expression changed from one of doubt to complete confidence, and he grinned wide at Marinette. He didn't so much as look at Chloe, despite having to tap her on the shoulder and move her out of the way to move toward his fake-girlfriend. He extended a hand toward Marinette.

"Come on, I thought you'd forgotten our lunch date," he said, winking. She swallowed hard and took his hand. He pulled her to her feet, and smiled at Alya, still utterly ignoring Chloe. "We'll see you around, Alya!"

The two left the classroom, and as soon as they were out of Chloe's sight, he dropped her hand. She leaned against the wall in the hallway, touching the sides of her face as she shook her head. She did not truly know if Chloe had the power to expel her, but it was more than distressing to think about.

"She thinks I'm blackmailing you," she said at long last, remembering that Adrien was there, looking on curiously.

He laughed, and she looked up at him sharply. How could he be so carefree about this? The one person they were meant to fool was also the only one who suspected that this was a ruse!

"I'm sorry, it's just...it's more like I'm blackmailing you. Or, maybe bribery is more accurate. Come on, that looked stressful," he said, beckoning her to follow. "I'll buy lunch."

"You really want to? I thought you were just saying that to get me out of there," Marinette stammered.

"Hey, this wouldn't be much of a bribery if I didn't spend any money, would it?" Adrien replied, grinning. "Where do you want to eat?"

Marinette followed him out of the building, shocked dumb by his generosity and then shocked numb by the fact that he expected her to climb into a limousine just for some lunch. Still, she complied, unsure of what else to do in this situation. Her parents had taught her many rules of etiquette and politeness, but none of them covered fake-dating a millionaire. Maybe there was a wikihow somewhere on the internet with step by step illustrated directions on how to handle it.

She settled in next to him, shrinking into herself under the studious but neutral gaze of the limo driver, and buckled in.

"We don't have to go anywhere expensive," she said, barely above a whisper.

"Hmm…" Adrien mused, thinking of places they could eat. "Marinette, would you rather eat Italian today or a matter baby?"

Without thinking, she responded, "What's a matter baby?"

He turned and pointed some finger guns at her with an over the top wink. "Nothing, sweetie, what's the matter with you?"

She began to laugh, and snorted, loudly. She covered her face in embarrassment, but now the giggles had gotten to her, and she just couldn't quite quit. Adrien's more than pleased expression didn't help-how could someone like him think a joke like that was genuinely funny? It was too absurd!

"You're a dork!" she replied at last, somewhat aghast at her own accusation.

"Ah, but this dork made you laugh! Relax, Marinette. Today's my treat."


	4. Chapter 4

Adrien hated the way Marinette seemed to be so...small when he was around. When he spotted her talking to Alya or even to Chloe, her stance was entirely different-she was bold, and she held her own in a conversation. Even when he'd dropped in as Chat Noir she'd been comfortable in her own skin, and daring enough to nearly trick Evillustrator into handing over his akuma. The only conclusion he could arrive at is that she really did not like him, and was too polite to tell him that she was uncomfortable and to leave.

It was so selfish of him to have asked her to do this when she so clearly loathed him. But they'd both committed to this, and he was going to do his best to put her at ease. Given that his only real friends were Nino and Ladybug, he figured that the way to her heart (or at least her friendship) was with bad jokes. Nothing was as uniting as laughing together over a genuinely terrible pun, he was sure.

So when Marinette's eyes widened and she contorted with laughter, so much that she even snorted, there weren't words to cover his delight. Surely, this and some free food would smooth over whatever he'd done to upset her so.

They arrived at a small diner, not too far from the school so that they could return before the hour was through. It was a diner Adrien was fond of for school lunches-as he never lacked for money, and he didn't expect Nathalie to pack him a home lunch, he liked to take Nino here whenever Nino wasn't too caught up with filming his latest thought experiment. The owner knew him by name, and not because of his modeling. It made him feel welcome and warm, glad to not only be Gabriel Agreste's son, but his own person, a patron of small diners and a good tipper.

After all, he was either Gabriel Agreste's son, Ladybug's sidekick, or nobody most of the time. He glanced at Marinette, seated across from him at the small table, and added 'Marinette's boyfriend' to his list.

Marinette was staring around the restaurant with wonder in her eyes, attempting to take everything in. The way her eyes flitted from object to object in the room almost made it look like she was looking for an escape. He wanted to put a hand on hers and assure her that she should relax, but seeing as every time he'd even come close to touching her she'd tensed up like a deer in headlights, he thought better of it.

Their waiter, a kind looking man in his mid thirties, stopped by and filled their glasses with water.

"Can I interest you in our lunch special, kids?" he asked, his eyes crinkling as he smiled. Adrien recognised him-he'd worked in this restaurant as long as Adrien had come, and he always seemed to be ready with a smile. He seemed to have pride in being a waiter.

Before Adrien or Marinette could answer, another voice came from across the restaurant.

"Waiter! Chop chop, not all of us are paid to flip burgers and stand around!"

The waiter's face fell for a moment as he turned, but he plastered on a false smile as he reassured the teenagers that he'd be right back.

"Oh, I hate people that are rude to waiters," Marinette said, her face scrunching up as the waiter walked away.

"I'm with you," Adrien replied, shaking his head.

Marinette smiled at him, then, her cheeks very slightly pinker than usual (or was that his imagination?), before she turned and buried her face in the menu, obstructing his view. He stared at the back of the menu for a while, wishing he could see whatever expression she was making. Marinette had the bluest eyes, he'd noticed, and whenever she looked at him it was as though they were trying to communicate a message. So imploring, but what did she want from him? He would never be able to put his finger on it unless he asked, but how did one ask what one's eyes were after?

It was a foolish train of thought, and he abandoned it, opening his menu as well.

A crash was heard from across the restaurant, accompanied by an older man hurling insults at the kind waiter who had seen to them just moments before. The older man had thrown his glass of water at the server, forcing him to stumble back and crash into a chair, while the customer ranted and raved about how useless he was.

Marinette began to rise to her feet to defend him-how curious, that such a timid girl would be willing to leap in for the sake of others-but the waiter fled the restaurant, tears in his eyes. Marinette sat down with a thump, angry eyes still staring at the one loudmouth customer who was trying to ruin everybody's day.

Adrien only wished he could transform into Chat Noir to beat up normal jerks, instead of just super powered ones. He unclenched his fist and resolved to ignore him-as he always tried to do with bullies. Sometimes it worked, after all.

"I hope he'll be okay," Marinette murmured, turning to look at the door.

Moments later, the door banged open and Adrien turned to see what had caused the expression of pure shock on his date's face. A man who was very clearly under the influence of an akuma, dressed up like a pure chrome version of a 60's style superhero, had kicked down the door and was rather deliberately posing.

"I'm the Silver Server, and you should know better than to think you can do a better job than I!" he announced, and immediately chucked the platter he had in hand at the rude customer. It was like a sharp frisbee, and the older man only barely dodged it. Rather than collecting the platter anew, it shimmered and regenerated right into the Silver Server's hand.

As soon as Adrien set eyes on the shiny chrome cape of the akuma victim, he knew he had to get out of there. He turned to Marinette, who was already out of her seat.

"You need to leave!" she said, pushing him out of the door. He was too shocked at her initiative (and willingness to touch him) to do anything but comply. "It's not safe, you need to run!"

"You do too!" he insisted.

She nodded firmly and sprinted in the opposite direction, just as he ducked into an alleyway to transform.

* * *

Ladybug skidded and rolled back into the restaurant, with Chat Noir hot on her heels. She grinned at him and faced the Silver Server with determination.

Her first 'date' with Adrien had not exactly been what she'd daydreamed about, but as Ladybug, she had no real time to bemoan her fate as Adrien's fake girlfriend. She could only hope he'd gotten to safety. The thought of him being, what, decapitated? By this akuma victim was too much for her.

She gestured toward Chat, and he dutifully came close enough that they could talk while Silver Server was distracted by trying to chase down his prey.

"This guy's a waiter here, and the guy he's chasing is a real jerk," she said. "I don't know what his akuma is just yet, but we need to keep him from killing that jerk, alright?"

"As you wish, my Lady," Chat Noir said, blowing her a kiss as he pounced after the target of the akuma victim. With ease, he picked the man up and tossed him over his shoulders, and ran away to someplace presumably safe.

She rolled her eyes at him, but kept focused on work. She slung her yo-yo at Silver Server, bonking him on the head, and he whirled round at her, tossing frisbee platters at her almost faster than she could flip and dodge them.

"That horrible man isn't worth all this!" she said once she realized she'd gotten into a corner.

"I can't help it," he replied, free hand on hip. "I'm the world's best waiter, and I'm serving up _just desserts_ for those who don't appreciate the services people like me provide!"

Ladybug closed her eyes as he wound back to hurl a sharp platter directly at her, with no place to run, but the blow never came. She opened a single eye to see that Chat Noir had restrained the Silver Server by his cape, and was twirling his own tail casually.

"I give points for the word play, but I can't condone hurting my Lady," Chat said, grinning cockily.

"Get your hands _off me!_ " Silver Server roared, yanking his cape from Chat's grasp.

"A little defensive of that, are you?" Ladybug said, squinting at the cape. "I think the cape's the akuma!" she called to Chat.

He nodded, and tried to get his paws on the cape immediately once more. Silver Server dodged his claws, and with a firm jump, surged to the ceiling and punched directly through it. He sailed off, leaving Chat Noir and Ladybug open mouthed in his wake.

"I hate it when they can fly," Chat commented casually.

"Where did you put his target?" Ladybug asked.

"I'll show you!" Chat pranced off, and she followed close behind, leaping and rolling and narrowly clipping corners. "How did you get here so fast, anyway?" he asked as they ran, turning and shining his green eyes at her.

"I was in the area," she replied cryptically, smiling. "What about you, alley cat?"

"I was on a date," he replied, sticking his tongue out at her.

She slowed for a moment, surprised, but picked up her pace again as she realized they'd come to their destination. Sure enough, Silver Server had found his way here as well. The old man was dangling from an ankle as the chrome villain attempted to drag him into the sky.

"It's time to pay your bill, sir," he was saying snidely.

Ladybug flung out her yo-yo and got it caught on Silver Server's leg, and pulled hard. He was pulled back, but refused to drop his target, instead using his free hand to attempt to slice the string of the yo-yo with a platter. Instead, the platter ricocheted off of the string (kwami magic is resilient stuff, after all) and bonked him directly in the face.

He tumbled to the ground from an altitude of some twenty feet, dropping his target. Chat Noir, without instruction, dove forward and caught the unpleasant man rather than letting him fall to surely broken ankles, as Ladybug was tempted to do. Ah, but Chat Noir was like that-always leaping into danger at the drop of a hat to save others. It was that foolish selflessness of his that she was so fond of.

With her yo-yo wrapped tightly around Silver Server's legs, and him only just coming to from his spill, snatching his cape and ripping it to shreds was child's play.

Chat Noir left the side of Silver Server's target, but stalled before fist bumping Ladybug. His face was suddenly very pale. "You didn't use Lucky Charm!" he said.

"Yeah?" Ladybug replied.

"How are you going to fix everything without a Lucky Charm? You can't leave that diner with a hole in the roof, can you?"

Eyes wide, she hastily tossed her yo-yo up into the air, calling out her catch phrase, and came back with...another yo-yo.

"Well, I guess this serves the purpose as well as anything else," she commented, before chucking it back into the sky.

Relieved, the duo fist bumped peacefully before being interrupted by the loud mouth customer of the restaurant who'd caused so many issues to begin with.

"Thank you so much! I'll tell everyone about how you saved me!" he said, bowing profusely and reaching for their hands.

Both heroes snatched their hands away and grimaced.

"This once, I wouldn't mind if nobody found out we saved you," Chat said, laughing. "You're a bully."

Ladybug smiled at Chat Noir, ignoring the sputtering sounds coming from the akuma victim's target. He hadn't been there to see how awful the man had been, simply trusting her words that he was a jerk and acting on them. She was really glad to have someone who trusted in her as much as Chat did, even if-

"Hey, what's this about you going on a date?" she demanded, poking Chat's chest.

"What, am I supposed to wait for you _fur_ ever?" he said, grinning wide. "You got yourself a boyfriend, and since I can't physically fight him for your affection, I may have found myself someone who cares about me."

She glared, but pulled back, unsure why she was even so mad at him. Perhaps it was the idea that Chat could just go out and get a girlfriend on a whim, while she'd had to wait patiently for months for so much as a faux relationship with the boy of her dreams.

"Well, good for you, then," she said, slightly huffily. "I don't know how hard she must have hit her head to think you'd make a good boyfriend, but I hope the two of you are very happy and the next of your dates can go on without you having to suit up."

He clutched his chest in mock pain, wheeling back. "You wound me, my Lady! Maybe you're just jealous!"

"Not on any of your nine lives!" she snapped back playfully, but heard a tell-tale beep of her earrings calling her away.

With a cheerful wave, she backflipped away-just as much of a show off as Chat-until she found a safe place to detransform.

As soon as she was in her civilian clothes, she started to jog toward the school building, whipping out her phone to attempt to text and run at the same time.

* * *

 **[Text From: Marinette Dupain-Cheng 12:47 PM]  
Are you alright? When I was running away I didn't see you follow me! I'm really worried :-( **

Adrien smiled at his phone as he got out of the limo in front of the school. Despite their first 'date' going so badly, Marinette was still as kind as ever. She'd quite literally tried to push him to safety, disregarding her own, before running off and assuming that he'd follow. In all honesty, he felt a little bad about presumably abandoning her to his fate.

Well, it was better to play a coward than to reveal his identity, he supposed.

 **[Text To: Marinette Dupain-Cheng 12:50 PM]  
I'm just fine! i hid in the limo the entire fight...is everythin else ok? i didnt stay around to see how things turned out **

He hated sending those words, realizing how bad they made him look, but he closed his eyes and pressed 'Send' anyway. Some part of him definitely wanted Marinette to think he was brave and cool, but he couldn't sacrifice his identity just to impress a random girl in class, could he?

As he sat down in class, he caught himself in a lie: Marinette was no longer a random girl from class. True or false, she was his girlfriend now. He turned to look at her, possibly with a thumbs up to reassure her that he was completely okay, and was shocked to note that Marinette simply wasn't there.

 **[Text To: Marinette Dupain-Cheng 12:52 PM]  
hey where ar you? you're not hurt or anythign are you? **

He texted her urgently, suddenly concerned that she'd been skimmed by one of those deadly sharp platters and was bleeding out in a ditch somewhere. Could Ladybug's Lucky Charm fix damage done to people, too? Was there a range to it? These were questions he'd never thought to ask, for his faith in Ladybug's power was so complete. If an innocent civilian like Marinette got hurt because of him being too lazy to ask such questions, he could never live with himself.

 **[Text From: Marinette Dupain-Cheng 12:53 PM]  
You're so kind to worry about me! Don't worry, Ladybug and Chat Noir saved the day. I just had to walk all the way from my hiding spot by the diner to school, so I'll be there in a moment! I'm glad you're okay! It's smart to hide when supervillains start rampaging! :-) **

He breathed a sigh of relief and put his phone in his pocket. Marinette was safe, Ladybug was a hero, and he was on time for class. Too bad he hadn't gotten to eat any lunch, though.

Marinette dove into the classroom a moment later, and sprinted up to her seat. He grinned at her as she came in, always mildly surprised at how fast a girl like her could run when she was late. She waved a tiny, timid little wave at him as she sat down, and immediately pulled out her textbook, apologizing rapidly for being late.

Adrien turned back to face the front, and found himself smiling to himself. _Well, akuma aside, it wasn't a total disaster of a date_ , he thought.


	5. Chapter 5

Marinette didn't often have friends over, as her room was relatively small. A converted attic didn't tend to lend itself toward being spacious in the best of situations, but given that Marinette's room was filled with dress forms and half completed art projects that friends and family had requested, it was an even tighter squeeze than usual.

It had been five days since she and Adrien had agreed to pretend to be in a relationship, and after some pointed questions from Chloe, they realized that they knew very little about each other. Or, rather, Adrien had come to the conclusion that he had very little information about Marinette. Nino, ever the creative problem solver, had a solution.

And this solution, as it turned out, involved Marinette, Alya, Nino, and Adrien all stuffed into Marinette's pink attic room. Marinette sat on her bed with Alya right beside her in case of the necessity for emotional support, while Nino lounged on the couch and Adrien took the desk chair. She'd had just enough warning to bolt up and take down every picture of Adrien that she'd tacked to her wall before he'd come in, but she was not entirely sure she'd found them all.

Despite the low key panic over Adrien finding something embarrassing in her room, she still managed to be completely on Cloud 9 at this turn of circumstance. Adrien, the model, the philanthropist, the boy of her dreams was right there, in her desk chair. She could almost cry from how beautiful it was.

"So, what's the plan here, Nino?" Adrien asked, sliding his phone into his pocket.

Nino took two small whiteboards out of his backpack, accompanied by two dry erase markers, and handed them to Marinette and Adrien respectively. Marinette decidedly did not approve of the wicked gleam in his eye, nor of the fact that Alya seemed to have been clued into the plan.

"We're going to ask you questions about each other, and you're both going to write the answer on the board. You'll reveal it at the same time, and you'll learn about each other!" Nino announced proudly.

Marinette looked at Alya, panicked. There was no way something good would come of Adrien finding out exactly how much she knew about him. Alya shrugged and patted her on the shoulder reassuringly.

"You'll both do fine," Alya said, winking at Marinette. "I think you'll be surprised at how much you already know about each other!"

"I'm in," Adrien said, smiling and uncapping his pen. "Give us the first question, bro!"

Nino opened up a notebook he'd been keeping in his bag, and Alya moved from the bed over to the couch so that she could see his questions. Marinette had never felt so abandoned. Still, she uncapped her marker and prepared for the first question.

Alya began, reading off of the list of questions she had no doubt helped put together: "What is Marinette's favourite animal? Marinette, you write your answer, and Adrien, write what you think the answer is."

Marinette hastily wrote the word 'hamsters' and doodled a quick hamster along with her answer. If she had to do this, she might as well make it cute. When Nino announced that it was time to show their answers, she hesitantly put her board up, as though she were the one being tested.

On Adrien's board was a caricature of a black cat, no words required.

Alya began to laugh.

Adrien looked at Marinette's board with a perplexed expression, looked back at his, and squinted at hers. Marintte tried to smile encouragingly, but just the thought of Chat finding out that anyone presumed that her favourite animal was a cat (a black one, no less!) was...appalling. Additionally, the fact that her brain immediately supplied the alternative word " _a-paw-lling_ " put the icing on the cake. She was spending far too much time with that ridiculous alley cat.

"Hamsters, huh?" Adrien said, smiling despite his evident disappointment at being wrong. "I totally had you pegged as a cat lady."

"Pfft, never," Marinette replied, shaking her head firmly.

"After you said Chat Noir was cool, I thought it was a natural assumption," Adrien mused.

"I…" Marinette did not want to get caught in a lie, or expose the fact that she'd been trying to tell Adrien that he was far cooler than that stinky kitty Chat Noir, so she scrambled. "Just because Chat Noir is okay doesn't make him my favourite," she explained weakly.

"Next question," Nino announced, reading from his notebook with an overabundance of pride. "What instrument does Adrien play?"

Easy. Marinette wrote 'piano' upon her board and tried to figure out if she knew how to draw a piano, before deciding that she didn't. The time was soon up, and she proudly displayed her board, which matched Adrien in everything but the handwriting.

She beamed at him, and he smiled back.

"One point for Marinette!" Nino said, and handed the notebook to Alya.

"Adrien's turn to try to prove that he didn't bribe Marinette into being his girlfriend without having done his research!" Alya said playfully. Adrien tugged at his collar nervously. "What is Marinette's favourite pop singer?"

Marinette thought for a moment. Her absolute favourite? Her eyes turned to the Jagged Stone poster on her wall, and she figured that she may as well pick her most popular fave and give Adrien a chance at getting any points at all. She really ought to take pity on him-even if he had tried to get to know her, she would have clammed up and been unable to make words.

At time's up, Adrien had just drawn an arrow. Everyone looked at him with varying levels of confusion, until he held up the board and angled it at the same poster Marinette has consulted when deciding who to write down.

"I cheated," he explained with an uncharacteristically cocky grin. "I saw her look at the poster before she wrote down her answer. Marinette, never play poker," he said the last part directly to Marinette, with an air of confidentiality.

She turned bright pink and laughed nervously. She had been getting used to him more and more the last few days, with him always draping his arm over her shoulders when Chloe glanced their direction, and the occasional offers to buy her things, but whenever he acted truly comfortable with her, she returned to her infantile fangirl state with just a blink.

"You get partial credit for using your environment to your advantage, dude," Nino decided, making something down on the notebook. "Marinette: What is Adrien's favourite colour?"

This wasn't something that was listed on his modeling portfolio online, nor did he ever mention it in casual conversation. He hadn't ever actually displayed his favourite colour for her to see, at least in any obvious way, so she'd have to guess.

Moments later, Adrien and Marinette both held up boards with the word 'green' hastily inscribed upon them.

"Tell me honestly, Marinette," Adrien began, squinting suspiciously at her. Her heart leapt to her throat. He was going to ask if she was stalking him, she would stand up to explain that she wasn't, and she'd trip and accidentally pull down the chart with his schedule on it. Their fake relationship would be over and he would hate her forever. "Are you a mind reader?" he asked, his suspicious face melting into a friendly smile.

She breathed out a sigh of relief, too audible to be natural, and pulled her face into a semblance of a smile. "I just guessed, honestly!" she insisted.

"Alright, next question. Adrien-" Alya began, but was cut off.

"I don't think we should play this game anymore," Adrien said, capping his pen and setting his board in his lap. "I know I don't know much about Marinette, but I think that would be better solved by just chatting with her," he explained. His mouth quirked oddly as he said 'chatting,' and for the life of her, Marinette could not figure out why.

"Aw, but I had like 30 more questions," Nino protested.

"Why don't we quiz them once we've given them an opportunity to know each other," Alya suggested.

"What, are we supposed to wait around while they give speeches about themselves?" Nino asked, looking bored at the very idea. "Listen, dude, I love you like a brother, but I am not invested enough in this arrangement to play chaperone on this playdate."

Adrien smiled. "I was thinking we could go get lunch."

* * *

Adrien decided not to take her to his same diner as he had last time. After the waiter's akuma fueled outburst, he didn't want to jinx things by going there twice. They say lightning never strikes the same place twice but, with his luck, he didn't want to test the theory. Instead, he had his driver take them to a cozy little cafe not far from his home. As a last minute gift for Nathalie's birthday, he'd once gotten her a cup of coffee and a muffin from the place, and as such, he remembered it fondly.

They sat by the window, across from one another. He smiled, and once again, Marinette looked as though she were casing the joint. Idly, he wondered if the reason she was so often late to school and complaining about late nights was that she was a burglar, but the thought passed as quickly as it came.

"I thought this might make up for our last lunch together," he said, smiling. "I hope that akuma villain didn't hurt you at all."

She smiled and looked up at him, as she always did, with pink cheeks and stars in her eyes. "I'm tougher than you think," she said, her smile growing.

In the past week they'd almost grown closer-she still stammered and stuttered and often tried to avoid talking to him at all, but she was a bit more comfortable, he hoped. He could tell that there was a part of her that he was being denied access to, and it drove him crazy thinking about. It was like there were two Marinettes: the one he took out to lunch sometimes and forced to hold his hand, and the one who protected the entire class from an attack by demented knights and ran for class president.

It was only fair that she got to have two identities, however, given that Adrien himself had an entirely different alter ego. But to think that Marinette could manage these twin identities as easily as himself, an actual superhero, was impressive to say the least.

"So it seems!" he said, chuckling to himself. "In any case, I'm really sorry things went so poorly. I haven't had an opportunity to actually bribe you yet, after all."

She waved it off. "It's not like you caused the akuma or anything! You're just a perfect gentleman."

"Yeah it's-hey, here's a first date type of question," Adrien began, eyeing her carefully. "Have you ever caused an akuma?"

Marinette looked toward the ceiling, deep in consideration. Her face was just too expressive to be real, Adrien thought. When she didn't know that he had eyes on her, she went through a huge range of emotions in just moments. He hoped she never had to lie; her face would give her away in a second.

"Maybe?" she said at last. "When Nathanael turned into the Evillustrator, it was somewhat based on his feelings for me."

"You can't blame yourself for that!" Adrien insisted. "That was all Chloe's teasing, not you!"

She shrugged. "I could understand feeling that badly about an unrequited crush," she admitted, looking away from him pointedly. It dawned on him then that she very likely liked someone else, which is why she was so uncomfortable around him. He suddenly felt very bad about trying so hard to get her to enjoy his company. He, too, understood the pain of unrequited pining.

"What about you, though?" she asked, trying to change the subject away from whomever she has a crush on. "Have you ever caused an akuma?"

He didn't have to think hard; it was a memory worthy of a cringe. "Yeah, actually. I once told a guy I was dating the girl he liked, kinda just to mess with him, and he went more than a little darkside," he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.

Marinette began to laugh, drawing a confused look from Adrien. She was giggling into her hands, shaking as she tried (unsuccessfully) to contain her laughter.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said between giggles. "But I just can't imagine you doing something so petty! It reminds me so much of another guy I know."

Adrien began to laugh too. "Well I'm glad to know I'm not the only one of your friends with questionable morals."

Her laughter started to die down as she smiled at him. "Trust me, you're so much better than him. Anyway, it's kindof a relief to know that you aren't...entirely perfect."

As soon as the words escaped her lips, she clamped her hands over her mouth. He was honestly stunned. Every time he talked to her outside of class, he learned something new about Marinette, but he still hadn't expected that she thought his ego was so big. Did he really give off the vibe that he thought he was perfect? No wonder his dad lectured him so often about his public image, he reflected, if he really came off like such a self righteous jerk.

He averted his eyes, his face falling for a moment, before he plastered on his typical, picture perfect smile, and scrambled to change the subject.

"Inviting you to lunch wasn't completely without motives," he admitted, pulling out his phone. Before he could say more, he saw her face seem to drain of colour completely, and her eyes widen. What had he done to make her so fearful of him? He tried to maintain a gentle and shy persona, if not just to confuse those who suspected he was Chat Noir, but to maintain his family's image. He pressed on anyway: "Chloe knows we're dating, but every day I still get awkward comments from fangirls who don't have the same class as us."

"Oh," she said quietly, but her colour did not come back into her face. "I don't think Chloe really believes we're dating."

He ran a hand through his hair in irritation. "I know, and she's the one we really have to trick," he admitted. "But I think I have an idea that should help both problems."

"What is it?" she asked with a furrowed brow.

He held out his phone. "We take a selfie together and post it to my official instagram," he said, smiling. "We make it look appropriately…" he paused, searching for a word that wouldn't make either of them cringe before settling on "Romantic and people will catch on. Plus, I think Chloe wouldn't imagine us announcing a fake relationship to hundreds of instagram followers if we were just doing it to trick her, right?"

Marinette stared at him, a smile growing on her face. "I should have known you were brilliant!" she said, before she clapped her hands over her mouth and turned tomato red. "I-I mean, that's just...just a pretty g-good idea!"

He smiled again, glad to have some measure of praise from someone who suffered so much from spending time with him.

"Come over here," he beckoned. "I'll take the picture."

Hesitantly, she got up out of her seat and walked over to him. Once she was at his side, he could practically feel the tension radiating from her body. He smiled up at her encouragingly, trying to communicate that he wasn't going to make a move on her or anything, but unwilling to actually express the thought.

He stood too, then, and pulled open Instagram to take a selfie. He had to bend down, just slightly, to make sure both their faces were in frame, but something about the pose wasn't doing it for him. Maybe it was his experience modeling, but he felt that the two of them just being in the same frame didn't communicate enough on its own. He contemplated how to fix this, and Marinette saw his mirrored expression on the screen of the phone.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, her voice trembling.

"It's nothing you're doing wrong!" he assured her. "The pose just looks unnatural," he mused aloud. "Maybe because it is."

With a Chat Noir like burst of inspiration, he sat down suddenly, and pulled Marinette into his lap by her waist. Just as she landed, he nuzzled into her hair and snapped the picture. She leapt up from his lap immediately, face burning red, and he smiled apologetically.

"Wh...buh...n…." she stammered out, not actually forming real words. With how bright she was blushing, it was likely that she was cooking her own brain from the heat of it.

"I'm sorry!" he said, but he couldn't help but smile at the steam practically rising from her ears. A small part of him wondered if he weren't already in love with Ladybug, would he be more interested in Marinette? She was adorable, everyone knew that, but seeing her flustered and so close to him was enough to make him want to mess with her forever.

"I..what...You…" she kept going, hands on her cheeks in (almost) wordless shock.

He held out his phone, showing her the picture that he'd managed to snap. Although very slightly blurry, the picture showed a surprised but smiling Marinette sitting on Adrien's lap, with his face partially obscured by her hair. While Marinette's big blue eyes were turned toward Adrien, which was something of a shame in his opinion-capturing those baby blues would have been a photographer's first instinct-but green eyes shone straight at the camera, his lips curled into a catlike smirk.

"It came out really good," he said lamely. "Can I post it?"

There was a pause where Marinette simply stared at the picture, looking aghast. After a moment, she nodded, still mute with surprise. Adrien smiled encouragingly at her, and gestured for her to take a seat, as they had still not eaten anything.

"I hope...it helps," she breathed, too awkward to raise her voice above a whisper.

"Hey, don't look so glum," he told her. "Order a drink, maybe some coffee? After all, I like the picture a-latte." He finished with the kind of smile that could only accompany a joke of that caliber.

She snorted, and he felt the same bubble of pride in his chest as when he'd made her giggle until she snorted in the limousine nearly a week ago. He would win his way to her friendship with bad jokes, or he wasn't half as funny as he thought he was.


End file.
